Today...whew

Boy is it warm today LOL. I'm turning into a damned yank. Argh.

I'm glad I posted this morning. It helped immensely. I'm glad these days are getting easier to deal with. I know I shouldn't care about what people say about me, but my skin is thin these days. I personally think we both (Jesse and I) should shut the fuk up, but I don't see that happening. We're both hurt and lashing out. I keep hearing there's no right and wrong in this type of situation, just varying shades of what is right and what is wrong. I'm still at the stage where I think that's bullshit.. maybe one day I'll forgive him and move on.. but probably not until this divorce is settled. And with the courts laying off people and being short staffed, it won't happen anytime soon. I really don't mind it taking so long honestly. It gives me time to become emotionally stable.. because neither one of us are.

It's rather warm out today.. had to do some grocery shopping. I need to do some homework, but ain't feeling it just yet. I did some cleaning this morning along with some laundry.

The cat is driving me insane.. he keeps following me everywhere like a lost puppy. I swear he's going to be the death of me. Derrick's taking care of Jesse's fish amazingly enough. He says he's just bored LOL.

I need to pack Jesse's stuff, but I don't feel like it. I kinda wish he would just come here and get it all. I would love to de-clutter and throw out a lot of stuff, but my lawyer put in a stipulation to the divorce response that neither one of us can get rid of anything, give anything, sell anything, or spend anything other than what it takes for us to survive. Which is a good thing I guess..

I guess I'm feeling afraid that Jesse's going to get away with out having to help with the debts and what he's agreed to do.. I know he's fighting it. And I know I'm being irrational when it comes to these things. I know he can't get out of it. I won't let him. Things would be much simpler and quicker if things would just go like we planned them to when he first left. It sure in hell would've been a lot cheaper for both of us.

I've never been one on writing blogs.. I do read them quite a bit.. my google reader probably has 2k different blogs on them. But, due to my recent events, it sure does help in terms of therapy. And a lot cheaper too.