Friday night

Work was, work. Very busy. Any more work at work and I'll have to get help. They won't like that LOL.

Went to a going away party tonight, for some of Debbie's friends.. that are from Denmark. They are such a hoot. I'm glad I got out. The drive there was hell, they live in the boondocks of Maine, where the woods surround you and no lights around. There's hills and valleys, and it was pouring and dark. I couldn't see when I was driving. I then discovered brights. Never had to use them before LOL. The drive back was dry and easier to deal with. I'm not good driving at night. I feel so old lol.

I realized something today. I'm kind of glad I'm getting a divorce. Now hear me out LOL. Jesse was not the man I married. Something changed in the course of the last 5 years, even before the ho. He was always angry and often such an asshole, especially in situations that no one has any control over. Then he would get mad at me for trying to defuse the situation. He was often mad at the boys, especially at Jeffrey, for things it wasn't worth getting mad at. He was mad at the kids for being teenagers. They are not bad kids, and never really have been bad. I mean, he would get angry if Jeffrey would ask for a ride to his friends house, and accuse him of having to drive him everywhere, when in reality, he was maybe driving him somewhere 2x's a week... in town no less. Then complained he had no free time, when all he had was free time.
I don't know what made him this way. I think he is depressed.

When he left, the kids became less stressed. Derrick has turned around in terms of his attitude for the most part, and in such a profound way even his teachers noted it. Maybe it was Jesse's lack of being able to deal with his own anger that got Derrick to be so angry.

It's one of those things you don't see until you step away and look at the relationship from another angle. I just wish he was man enough to do the right thing instead of sleeping around.
I wish he would have at least tried instead of running. He loves to run I noticed.

Debbie said she had a dream about me last night, that I lost all my weight and was looking good. She tells me that most of all of her dreams come true. So I need to stick to my diet and get to be a hot momma.

Well, it's 1040pm, and I've been up since 4. I'm exhausted. So chat you all up later.